As I have previously noted, I have too many hobbies.
Between work, babies, projects, and marriage, I don’t really have time to devote to all of my interests, so I tend to focus on them cyclically over time (you could say I binge on them).
One on my favorite recurring pastimes is insulting people.
More specifically, I love coming up with new ways to insult people. Not necessarily specific people, more just people in general.
I’ve been dabbling in this pastime on and off for the last 9 years, and have really gotten quite good at it.
While extending the boundaries of known derogatory methods, I have noted that, surprisingly, many people do not share this passion, and consequently have not developed this skill for themselves.
In the interest of enabling these people to experience the joy that I feel, without the tedium of developing their own debasing abilities, I built a website: dissincorporated.com
Using this website, I have chronicled my slanderous breakthroughs in the form of 5-inch by 7-inch greeting cards.
For example, card# 006:
Now anyone in the greater United States of America can share in the pure bliss that comes from flinging disparagement at a Master level.
A word of warning: During these last 9 years, while developing my skill, I have also developed, through trial and error, a certain level of discretion, and a shrinking number of friends.
Not every opportunity to deliver a crushing blow should be seized… or so my wife tells me.
I know that there is grave danger in enabling those without my benefit of experience to wield such devastating wit, but I believe that there is peace in equality, and who am I to hoard such power to myself?
And so I freely share with all, the fruits of my endeavor, for only $3.25 per card plus applicable shipping charges.